I was a BNP activist ... and converted to Islam

Muhammad IslamSaturday September 24, 2005The Guardian http://www.guardian.co.uk/religion/Story/0,2763,1575810,00.html
I hated all foreigners but feared Muslims the most. Igrew up in the 1960s in Gateshead, in a predominantlywhite area; I can't remember seeing an Asian facethere. As a family we were not religious. We only wentto weddings, funerals and christenings. I was notinterested in school, either. You didn't need to stayon because you were more or less guaranteed a job inthe mines, steelworks or shipyards.When I was 16, all my friends were British NationalParty activists. It was a cool thing to do, and Ijoined in, too. I wanted to shock, to rebel. We wouldget together, drink, listen to music, chase girls andgo out Paki-bashing. That wasn't a phrase weconsidered bad or wrong.I remember my first time; it was a Saturday night andwe had been drinking. We went into an Asian area andcame across a lad of about 17. We started chanting -the usual thing, "Go back to your own country" - andthen went after him. There were about 10 of us, and wekicked and punched him. When we ran away, I remember,we were laughing. I don't know what happened to him,and at the time I wouldn't have cared: I was in agroup and we had camaraderie.By the time I was 19 I was growing out of the BNP. Imoved to London for work and stopped going tomeetings. But I still hated all foreigners, especiallyMuslims. Over the next few years I became involvedwith people who went to Muslim meetings in Hyde Park,mainly to cause trouble.Then, one day in 1989, I was walking past a secondhandbook stall by the Royal Festival Hall when a covercaught my eye: it was the most beautiful picture, inthe most gorgeous colours, of a building. I didn'tknow what the book was, but it was only 20p so Ibought it. I thought I'd buy a cheap frame and have anice picture for my wall. I had no idea until I gothome that I had bought the Qur'an.I was horrified when I found out. My initial reactionwas to throw it away. But then I got curious. Istarted reading it, thinking I would find things touse against Muslims; I thought it would be filled withcontradictions. When I was young, my mum always madeher views known and from her I acquired a love ofdebating. Now, I would regularly go and debate withMuslims at Speakers' Corner in Hyde Park. As I did so,I started to get a very different picture of Islam.Seeing people pray in unison was such a powerfulimage.A few years later, I returned to the north-east - I'dgot a job as a chef. When I saw a group of Muslims atan Islamic book stall in Newcastle, I thought, "Here'sanother group I can wind up; I probably know moreabout Islam than they do." But I was shocked when Iapproached them; they were very knowledgeable. I keptgoing back because I enjoyed debating with them, andafter four weeks they challenged me.They wanted me to try to disprove the Qur'an andconvince them my way of life was better. They said ifI succeeded they would become Christians, but if Ifailed I should become a Muslim. I accepted thechallenge. But after months of returning to the stalland debating, I realised I was losing and panicked. Istopped going to the stall.Three years had passed when I bumped into one of theguys from the stall. As I thought about what I wantedto do, I felt as if a big rock were crushing me, butwhen I told him I wanted to convert, I had a totalsense of peace. I made my final decision on WednesdayNovember 17 1996 and converted the following day. Ihave been close to the Hizb ut-Tahrir group eversince: I became a Muslim because of them; they werethe guys at the stall.When I told my family, my sister stopped talking tome. My father was horrified but didn't want to discussit. My mother thought it was a phase I was goingthrough and was more worried about what the neighbourswould think. She now lets me pray in the house, butrefuses to call me Muhammad (I was born John Ord).I met my wife, who is Pakistani, after converting. Welive in Birmingham, where she works as a primaryschool teacher. I have just started a degree in socialwork. When I look back, I can't believe the things Idid; it feels like a different person and a differentlife. Ironically, because of the backlash from theLondon bombings, I now fear attack, and have startedgoing out in my English clothes. In them I look like abearded, middle-aged white guy.